What is a monkeys favorite cookie? And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! The best of all worlds. Are you chocolate milk? You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. Deal? The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! Forget love Id rather fall in chocolate! Chocolate chimp! What did the M&M go to college? I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. What's the best part of Valentines Day? Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. We can feel a lot of emotions when we eat chocolate. You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. There was a million dollars. Plane chocolate.What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? Please add a link to this article. Chocolate Jokes. "Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier. John Milton, The Devils Advocate. Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! Robert Paul. Bob Saget: That's What I'm Talking About is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. A Candy Baa. What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there. What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. They had a baby, Ruth. Because you're making me drool. MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. If you are a candy bar I promise I would refuse to share you with other people. 2. Required fields are marked *. . While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. Its strengthening, restorative, and apt to repair decayed strength and make people strong. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. He rubs it and a genie appears. Chocolate Stores Where to Buy Chocolate, Coverquotes Click N Collect | Click and Collect, You Can Keep Your Heart and Brain Healthy with the Right Chocolate, Scientists Say. Knock knock! Chocolate left in a car? A PayDay. Because he wants to become a smartie. How do you know it's cold outside? You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Your email address will not be published. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. Chocolate is a serious thing! Because she was a Her-She-y bar! Hershey. Share. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. 1. A Kit Kat! Hershey. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. @. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. Men are like Chocolate Bars. Kids and chocolate go together like peanut butter and jelly. Tosh made a rape joke . They had a baby, Ruth. Copy This. I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Coffee, chocolate, men some things are just better rich. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. Chocolate Chip Wookiee. The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. A: ao! If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt. 3. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. Kids these days are so stupid. 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. The only favorite thing I have in this cruel world aside from sweets is having you in my life. It can make us feel loved. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Plane Chocolate! I love a man with chocolate on his breath. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. Are you Hershey's chocolate? Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. "nobody cya tief like me! The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe A: Proofreading. But you have no chocolate! The optimist sees the glass as half full. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. Dairy, who? The other one says, Baking a cake (sick dirty joke) (X) One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. Chocolate covered aunts. I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Cremation. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Copy This. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Here, have some chocolate. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. 81.12 % / 2071 votes. Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet (1888-1935), the damnable agent of necromancers and sorcerers. So, eat lots of chocolate! Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". 7. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Dairy? A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Are you Willy Wonka? Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! Vegetable Jokes. Cao-cao! To get chocolate milk. In this cookie we call life, you're the chocolate chips. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk?Because he was moo-dy!Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite?A Kit Kat!What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?A rocky road!What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?Cao-cao! He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.". What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. Are you chocolate spread? Apparently, he still had a few twix up his sleeves. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Chocolate Chip Wookiee. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Chocolate is a permanent thing. Hey girl can you be the candy sprinkles to my ice cream? You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. You are 10x delectable than any sweet food I know in this world. What use are cartridges in battle? Knock knock! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. More Funny Jokes. Lincoln replied.if you are my wife I'll gladly drink it. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! Do you know a bakery around? You're the milk to my cookie. In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? These are great. A: He threw out the Ws. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . Later, at the Cacao Festival, I shared my CHOCOLATE letters with my new girlfriend, Ethel. Now, isnt that handy? Why did people make white chocolate? You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. . Are you ready? Why cant trans men enjoy chocolate? Glazed and confused. A pound a day often. Why is a Toblerone triangular? Foiled again. Ready for some chocolate jokes? Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. I like my cocoa maragnan just like I like my nights full of flavor because of you. If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? We have a simple and elegant solution for you! I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. A marsbar! The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". He turned into a box of chocolates. What did you guys do? It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. There was a million dollars. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. Candy cow jump over the moon? What the cold weather does to cold people! Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". As much as chocolate, perhaps. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. It is certain that we have more collections for you if you have enjoyed this collection of jokes about chocolate. Tiefing And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? When the three kids discover that a .