I just had a lack of self-confidence about marriage. Your response further reveals your selfishness; are you considering *her* perspective in this? The thing is, your ex girlfriend doesnt want you to propose to her just to get her back or propose because you think that she wants it. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. I didn't respond to it very well. She may have moved on to another man, or simply had a change of heart. You can get laid when you want. I beg you! Honestly though, this guy sounds like he isnt willing to set a boundary with granny. 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You miss her, but you really dont want to be married to her. she broke up with me a week later she called and we decided to work it out however, i came on to strong for her at tthe momenet and blew, he texted me a few days later saying she . The same woman then went on to say: The next time he wanted to see me, he was shocked when I told him it wasnt going to happen, and I didnt want to see him anymore. He didn't buy the rings until a week before the wedding. Hes, Your email address will not be published. If youre looking for good music to relax and take a break from your hectic lifestyle, thenHot Sugarhas you. So, can you forgive the old me? If you keep rejecting something until the opportunity is on the table, it suggests maybe you havent really reflected on why you were rejecting it, or why you suddenly wanted it so badly after it was taken off the table. After forgiving you, she stops going over your mistakes and feeling angry and disappointed at you. January 13, 2023 January 13, 2023 Relationship by Igor. I totally messed up and agree that I need to set her free and she totally deserve someone way way better. the guy had no real plans for his future that we was continually following through on and making progress on, he had a wandering eye and stopped making her feel appreciated and loved). If only they would find it in themselves to get there, to have the life they could have with us, they could heal, they could be loved, they could be happy and we couldn't be happier being right there alongside with them. As a result, he wont seem attractive and appealing to her anymore. I lost a job I had in an organization where I worked for the last 10 years. So lets get the elephant in the room out of the way first. You can't let self-pity, or bitterness, fill your head with nonsense. I think her math is fine. So let me ask you again: do you really want her back? What Gives? We were long distance, and while I know you can be there for someone over a distance, it was just nuts. Im 100% committed to giving our relationship my all from now on. As you mentioned & worried about your looking for your daughter best interests, is your bf grandmother abusive? She probably endured shame and her own self-loathing during this long wait. Think back to what she loved about you the most and do more of that when you interact with her from now on, while at the same time doing less of the things that annoy her. You dont buy property with someone you want to change. She may have lived her life this way because it was the only option she had. She then closes up even more because she feels turned off by his desperation and loses trust in him due to him being insincere by putting on an act of being Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Im not saying there arent any generational differences, but women have had the option to earn incomes throughout her adulthood. Your ego took a hit because she wasnt as rock-solid as you thought, and now youre backward rationalizing how great she is because you miss her presence in your life. If you dont propose, your wife wont be happy. Shes had enough of your stringing her along. I didn't appreciate the pressure of this but didn't wanna tell Halle that I couldn't see myself getting married ever. For example: Please baby, dont do this to us. What did you think was going to happen if you kept telling her you wouldnt commit to her, when she made it clear it was something that she needed? When you dont, youre just asking for problems. Therefore any money she puts into the house or contributes, would be advantageous to Grandma. Why not take time to get to knwo gran and introduce the kid. My current boyfriend of 2 years reminds me of you and your post has enlightened mewill help me leave my relationship now before I waste any more time as your girlfriend did. Most other cultures just do it without whining about it and seeing it as something bad. Do you remember how you used to tell me that you wanted to grow old with me? April 6, 2021, 12:46 pm. LW1: it wont help me holding on since shes decided about it.: this says all! Theres nothing better than getting information straight from the source. But is he actually willing to live apart from her? You like getting after it, and youre probably a high performer in your areas of endeavor. But if you love someone, known them for all those years. Then again, she may have been so preoccupied with a proposal that she left you to pursue other options. Please.. She says that internet strangers helped her recognise that he was being emotionally abusive. It's not about age, it's about maturity level) because she doesn't want to waste any more of her time. But I hope he realises why he messed up. Especially right after sleeping with Forrest. Messing around with a girlfriend before youve had the chance to develop good relationship management skills isnt a great idea these days. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with 10 women about how they knew their guy was about to pop the question. Don't have an account? Id sometimes go days or weeks without speaking to him because he only had time for me if he didnt have anything else to do. To sit with a broken heart to move through the stages of grief in its path without trying to manipulate someone elses path through griefis the most gracious way we can accept a relationships end and the very best way we can honor the love once shared and the love that can still remain in memory if we resist the urge to touch it. While guilting her grandson is wrong, she may be doing it out of fear of being abandoned. Is she using drugs? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! So, make sure that you focus on re-attracting her and making her naturally want you back, rather than making her put her guard up because she senses your desperation and need. You can choose to live with him or not, but she doesnt get a choice. WHY are you trying to force your way through a major block? Im sorry if I may sound harsh. Issue is most men get comfy with their perfect set up for them. Do you really want your balls tied to only ONE woman? If youve already gotten serious, you should consider getting married. As a commenter brought up, that was a risk too of losing her and it was inevitable. I know that you are mature enough as a person to understand that people sometimes make mistakes. Stealing? Thats why she will probably reject your proposal. Why is it okay for him to support you and a child that is not his but not his grandmother? I was planning on proposing to you the next time I saw you. I could go on but I think you get the idea. April 30, 2020, 11:08 am. But I say, to hell with what society thinks, and to hell with what her friends and family think. I cant image after 9 plus years how she stayed, as 2 years being so in love and him avoiding/ being defensive, all the arguments over the marriage talk when hes the one obsessed over me and expects me to play the wife role. Of course, saying something like that to her doesnt mean that youre giving up on you and her getting back together. she is attracted to you again, worried about losing you now, feeling like the relationship still can work). Another example is where she asks, So, how have you been? and you jokingly say, Well, I was having a great dayand then you called. Many working people cannot. The pain youre feeling now is not as great as the pain shes feeling. He has given her the run of his house for the past nine years, and when he told her that he wants to marry me and move on, the first words out of her mouth were, Just make sure Im taken care of!. Firstly, women never feel attracted to desperation in men. Your email address will not be published. Remember what I said before: Its about how she FEELS, not how YOU feel. Dont let someone who isnt you tell you how to live your life. confident, cool, charismatic, fun, interesting), she wont be able to stop herself from reconnecting with her feelings of respect, attraction and love again. ), maybe somewhere with an in-law suite so that way she has her own space, your boyfriend feels like he has taken care of her, and you can have your own area to which she doesnt have a key. she left because i didn 't propose. He thought everything was going great and my breaking up with him came completely out of the blue. Personally, I wanted to marry my girlfriend very much from year 1. If she is 69 years old, then she turned 18 in 1970 and 21 in 1973. So, make sure that you give your girlfriend enough time between every interaction (i.e. I invested a lot of time and feeling into our relationship. Which Is Better? Many kids cant afford to move out until their mid-20s anyway, making old enough moot. By this point you know someone extremely well and youve handled a lot of life together. I know it now though and I want to make it up to you. This can be a good way to get to know your woman and her family. So I can understand. male If she dumped you because you didnt want to commit and now all of a sudden youve from whatever to holy shit, I want her back Ive got one response for you: Theres a reason you didnt want to commit in the first place! Your career and business, overall fitness, habits, and life infrastructure all take time to build, especially in your 20s and early 30s. If you arent ready to commit then dont fucking commit. Its really difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that were now separated. Because she did. He seems like a needy, desperate guy. You are far from that place. Next time around, though, be careful. Heres the next scene: For a little while, you will both miss each other a lot. If you do insist on buying a house with him (dont do it!! mellanthe I want to date a guy who cares enough to take me seriouslywhen Im telling him what I need. Most guys will never discover this secret and as a result, they miss out on getting their ex woman back. He has already helped countless men from all over the world to get their ex woman back and he can help you too. So, dont waste time pretending to be someone youre not. Lets move in together/get engaged/get married.