I have my own agency. With all, it needs to be done in the spirit of love and welcoming that, as Elder Oaks mentioned, ‘You’re always my son.’ There’s an old maxim which is really true for every parent and that is, ‘You haven’t failed until you quit trying.’ I think that means both in terms of taking appropriate opportunities to teach one’s children the right way, but at all times making sure they know that over all things you’ll love them. It’s no sin to have inclinations that if yielded to would produce behavior that would be a transgression. Dallin Harris Oaks (born August 12, 1932) is an American jurist, educator, and religious leader who since 2018 has been the First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church). If you have some legally sanctioned relationship with the bundle of legal rights traditionally belonging to marriage and governing authority has slapped a label on it, whether it is civil union or domestic partnership or whatever label it’s given, it is nonetheless tantamount to marriage. In summary, the First Presidency has come out for an amendment (which may or may not be adopted) in support of the teaching function of the law. Pictured here are President Russell M. Nelson and his wife, Wendy, and President Dallin H. Oaks and his wife, Kristen. ELDER OAKS: That’s where our doctrine comes into play. These senior Church leaders responded to questions from two members of the Church’s Public Affairs staff. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Elder Wickman, when you referred earlier to missionary service, you held that out as a possibility for someone who felt same-gender attraction but didn’t act on it. God has given us no commandment that He will not give us the strength and power to observe. Dallin Harris Oaks was born in Provo on August 12, 1932. ELDER OAKS: We surely encourage parents not to blame themselves and we encourage Church members not to blame parents in this circumstance. Dallin H Oaks. I can also imagine some circumstances in which it might be possible to say, ‘Yes, come, but don’t expect to stay overnight. We feel for someone that has that anguish. A redefinition of that institution, therefore, redefines it for everyone — not just those who are seeking to have a so-called same gender marriage. Do we go out and legalize his behavior because he’s being discriminated against in his occupational choices or because he doesn’t feel well about what he’s doing and he wants a ‘feel good’ example, or he wants his behavior legitimized in the eyes of society or his family? Now he tells me he’s planning on going to Canada where same-gender marriage is allowed. ELDER WICKMAN: Let me say again what I said a moment ago. We certainly discourage people getting involved with any group or organization that foster living a homosexual lifestyle. To suggest that in the face of these millennia of history and the revelations of God and the whole human pattern they have the right to redefine the whole institution for everyone is presumptuous in the extreme and terribly wrong-headed. What does that really mean? That’s what it means in the secular law. It really is true the Lord’s way is to love the sinner while condemning the sin. It is sometimes said that God could not discriminate against individuals in this circumstance. (Mrs. Louis E.) Ringger, Orem; Lloyd D. (and Natalie M.) Oaks, Tacoma, Wash.; Dallin D. (and Marleen M.) Oaks, Buena Vista, Va.; TruAnn (Mrs. Rock) Boulter, Orem; Jenny June (Mrs. Matt) Baker, New York; 23 grandchildren; and one great-grand-child. This Constitutional amendment is a defensive measure against those who would ignore the will of the states appropriately expressed and require, as a matter of federal law, the recognition of same-gender marriages — or the invalidation of state laws that require that marriage be between a man and a woman. That’s contrary to our very nature as the Lord has revealed to us. To support his widowed mother, President Oaks started his first job sweeping out a radio repair shop at age 11. Calling it something else by virtue of some political definition does not change that reality. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: You’re saying the Church doesn’t necessarily have a position on ‘nurture or nature’. We refer to that as the teaching function of the law. She never complained and she made every sacrifice possible for every professional, church and family goal we pursued.". Personal life. ELDER OAKS: Let me just add a thought to that. These leaders qualify for the vaccine in Utah because they are over the age of 70. As we’ve mentioned in answer to other questions, [genderless marriage] is contrary to God’s law, to revealed Word. Then in 1963, he served as the second counselor in the presidency of the Chicago Illinois South Stake. Latter-day Saints are entitled to believe whatever they like. It is of such profound importance… such a core doctrine of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, of the very purpose of the creation of this earth. Anyone who seeks to put that notion asunder is likewise running counter to what Jesus Himself said. Case studies I believe have shown that in some cases there has been progress made in helping someone to change that orientation; in other cases not. ELDER WICKMAN: It’s hard to imagine a more difficult circumstance for a parent to face than that one. In 1989, Mrs. Oaks was appointed by former Gov. When they were told to refrain from plural marriage, there were probably some who were unhappy, but I think the majority were greatly relieved and glad to get back into the mainstream of western civilization, which had been marriage between a man and a woman. We feel great compassion for parents whose love and protective instincts for their challenged children have moved them to some positions that are adversary to the Church. But if you choose to go that way, we will always try to help you and get you back on the path of growth. ELDER WICKMAN: Whether it is nature or nurture really begs the important question, and a preoccupation with nature or nurture can, it seems to me, lead someone astray from the principles that Elder Oaks has been describing here. Elder Oaks is a native of Provo, Utah, and was born August 12, 1932. We provide the link to this third party's website solely as a convenience to you. ELDER WICKMAN: One question that might be asked by somebody who is struggling with same-gender attraction is, “Is this something I’m stuck with forever? Homosexual behavior is and will always remain before the Lord an abominable sin. ELDER OAKS: No, we do not accept the fact that conditions that prevent people from attaining their eternal destiny were born into them without any ability to control. Or they are red-headed, or they are the best basketball player that ever played for such-and-such a high school. Does it really mean that someone with same-gender attraction so long as they’re faithful, has every opportunity to participate, to be called to service, to do all those kinds of things that anyone else can? But why try to regulate the behavior of other people who have nothing to do with your faith, especially when some nations in Europe have legally sanctioned that kind of marriage? Any other sexual conduct, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior is sinful. There are people who oppose a federal Constitutional amendment because they think that the law of family should be made by the states. At such point as you now, as an institution, begin to recognize a legally-sanctioned relationship, a committed relationship between two people of the same gender, you have now redefined the institution to being one of genderless marriage. If we cater to the feelings, they increase the power of the temptation. That’s what it means in the revelations. You’re embarking on a course of action that will weaken you in your ability to repent. There seems no prospect of him returning. Certainly the Church doesn’t counsel against that kind of therapy. I cite the example of adoption simply because it has to do with the bearing and the rearing of children. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: There are those who would say that that might have applied better in the 1950s or earlier than in the 21st century. Baker is a daughter of Dallin H. Oaks, a former Brigham Young University president and Utah Supreme Court justice, who is now the second-ranking leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), and June Oaks (née Dixon). I have the power within myself to control what I do.’. The former first lady of Brigham Young University, Mrs. Oaks was known nationwide for her support of fine arts and service in the church.An identical twin, she was born March 24, 1933, in Provo, to Charles Hyrum and True Call Dixon. What’s more, merely having inclinations does not disqualify one for any aspect of Church participation or membership, except possibly marriage as has already been talked about. Suddenly we are faced with the claim that thousands of years of human experience should be set aside because we should not discriminate in relation to the institution of marriage. It’s not the Church that has made the issue of marriage a matter of federal law. What should be the proper response of a Latter-day Saint parent in that situation? Perhaps there is an inclination or susceptibility to such feelings that is a reality for some and not a reality for others. Suppose a person is making a living in some illegal behavior, but feels uneasy about it. Every teaching position, every missionary position can be held by single people. It is a circumstance that for whatever reason or reasons seems to apply right now in mortality, in this nano-second of our eternal existence. Dallin H. Oaks real name is Dallin Harris Oaks. Archived. Further, men are that they might have joy. We rest on our faith in God and our utmost assurance of His mercy and His love for all of His children. What would you say to them? Why fight to get a Constitutional amendment [in the United States], for example? To download media files, please first review and agree to the Terms of Use. Dallin H Oaks. If you look at several nations in Europe, for example, traditional marriage is so rapidly on the decline that it is no longer the norm. Those are scientific questions — whether nature or nurture — those are things the Church doesn’t have a position on. We just need to remain faithful. Since 1984, he has been a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church). None of these stand in the way of our attaining our eternal destiny. By referring or linking you to this website, we do not endorse or guarantee this content, products, or services offered. ELDER OAKS: That’s a decision that needs to be made individually by the person responsible, calling upon the Lord for inspiration. We urge persons with same-gender attractions to control those and to refrain from acting upon them, which is a sin, just as we urge persons with heterosexual attractions to refrain from acting upon them until they have the opportunity for a marriage recognized by God as well as by the law of the land. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: So you are saying that homosexual feelings are controllable? Jesus said that “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. (He may be a professional thief or he may be selling a service that is illegal, or whatever it may be.) ELDER OAKS: It seems to me that a Latter-day Saint parent has a responsibility in love and gentleness to affirm the teaching of the Lord through His prophets that the course of action he is about to embark upon is sinful. It’s already there. Consequently it is not a battleground on such an issue that we Latter-day Saints have chosen, but it has been established and we have little choice but to express our views concerning it, which is really all that the Church has done. The fact of the matter is that the best way to assure that a definition of marriage as it now stands continues is to put it into the foundational legal document of the United States. Persons who have this kind of challenge that they cannot control could not enter marriage in good faith. Personal Life. The transcript of the interview appears below in order to help clarify the Church’s stand on these important, complex and sensitive issues. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church.”. Why not just say, ‘We don’t agree with it doctrinally for our own people’ and leave it at that. 2) If I can keep myself worthy here, if I can be true to gospel commandments, if I can keep covenants that I have made, the blessings of exaltation and eternal life that Heavenly Father holds out to all of His children apply to me. ELDER WICKMAN: For openers, marriage is neither a matter of politics, nor is it a matter of social policy. Style Guide Note:When reporting about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please use the complete name of the Church in the first reference. I believe that that argument is true sophistry, because marriage is a unified institution. If we yield to the temptation, we have committed sinful behavior. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: What would you say to those members in society, members of the Church, who may look at same-gender attraction as different than other temptations, than any other struggle that people face? They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. If a young man thinks he’s gay, what we’re really saying to him is that there is simply no other way to go but to be celibate for the rest of his life if he doesn’t feel any attraction to women? PUBLIC AFFAIRS: If somebody has a very powerful heterosexual drive, there is the opportunity for marriage. Considering what they say they have, why do they want to add to it the legal status of marriage that has been honored and experienced for thousands of years? Pictured here are President Russell M. Nelson and his wife, Wendy, and President Dallin H. Oaks and his wife, Kristen. It is Christ’s atonement that makes it possible for us to be forgiven of our sins and His resurrection that gives us the assurance of immortality and the life to come. She will stand at the window of my office which overlooks the Salt Lake Temple and look at the brides and their new husbands as they’re having their pictures taken. Those choicest blessings are associated with marriage between a man and a woman by appropriate priesthood authority to bring together a family unit for creation and happiness in this life and in the life to come. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: The emphasis that has been placed in this conversation on traditional marriage between a man and a woman has been consistent throughout. He is American by natinoanliy. Why did the Church feel that it had to step in that direction? PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Let’s say my 17-year-old son comes to talk to me and, after a great deal of difficulty trying to get it out, tells me that he believes that he’s attracted to men — that he has no interest and never has had any interest in girls. I guess it’s naturally human to think about my own problems as somehow greater than someone else’s. There’s no denial that one’s gender orientation is certainly a core characteristic of any person, but it’s not the only one. About the speaker: President Dallin H. Oaks was called to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in 1984. It’s the same for a person that is born with a ‘short fuse,’ as we would say of a susceptibility to anger. He was born on August 12, 1932 (87 years old) in Provo, Utah. We do have the power to control our behavior. An even bigger error is now to become defensive of the child, because that neither helps the child nor helps the parent. He says that he’s tried to suppress these feelings. But beyond that, it is comparing apples and oranges to refer to the love that the Savior expressed for all mankind, for every person, for every man and woman and child, with the doctrine related to marriage. By choosing I Accept, you consent to our use of cookies and other tracking technologies. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: If we were to look back at someone who had a ‘short fuse,’ and we were to look at their parents who might have had a short fuse, some might identify a genetic influence in that. The New Testament affirms that God has given us commandments that are difficult to keep. Close. All Rights Reserved. What we look forward to, and the great promise of the gospel, is that whatever our inclinations are here, whatever our shortcomings are here, whatever the hindrances to our enjoying a fullness of joy here, we have the Lord’s assurance for every one of us that those in due course will be removed. These leaders qualify for the vaccine in Utah because they are over the age of 70. But out of such susceptibilities come feelings, and feelings are controllable. That includes dealing with things that we’re born with, including disfigurements, or mental or physical incapacities. ELDER OAKS: You’re my son. The worst possible thing for any of us — no matter what our temptations, no matter what our mortal inclinations may be — is to become fixated with them, to dwell on them. She has served as a ward Young Women president, Relief Society president and a Primary president. Nelson was a member of the LDS Church's Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for nearly 34 years, and was the quorum president from 2015 to 2018. Suddenly there’s a call to legalize it so they can feel better about themselves. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: At the outset, can you explain why this whole issue of homosexuality and same-gender marriage is important to the Church? Then it was on to the University of Chicago Law School. We’re talking about a common condition of mortality. Some argue that Jesus Christ’s compassion and love for humanity embraces this kind of relationship. He was called as a member of the church's Quorum of the Twelve Apostles The line of sin is between the feelings and the behavior. In short, if you start with the assumption of continuing revelation, on which this Church is founded, then you can understand that there is no irony in this. The Pioneer Mother by Cyrus Dallin, Elder Oaks's namesake. While affirming our continued love for him, and affirming that the family continues to have its arms open to him, I think it would be well to review with him something like the following, which is a statement of the First Presidency in 1991: “The Lord’s law of moral conduct is abstinence outside of lawful marriage and fidelity within marriage. Even the Savior was tempted. President Hinckley has said that if people are faithful, they can essentially go forward as anyone else in the Church and have full fellowship. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Is therapy of any kind a legitimate course of action if we’re talking about controlling behavior? PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Let’s fast-forward again. President Hinckley said that marriage is not a therapeutic step to solve problems. The First Presidency hasn’t expressed itself concerning any specific right. If you don’t believe in same-gender marriages, then it’s fine for you. I hope the Lord will be merciful to parents whose love for their children has caused them to get into such traps. ELDER WICKMAN: For one thing, those who assert that need to read their Bible more carefully. In 2020 our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson , has encouraged us to # HearHim —to seek the Lord’s guidance and direction for our individual lives. Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, delivered this devotional address on October 27, 2020. newsletter, ‘Political football’? I think I would say to your son or anyone that was so afflicted to strive to expand your horizons beyond simply gender orientation. It’s important to keep in mind the difference between Jesus’ love and His definition of doctrine, and the definition of doctrine that has come from apostles and prophets of the Lord Jesus Christ, both anciently and in modern times. Health care workers, first responders and other high-priority recipients in the state had the opportunity to be vaccinated in recent weeks. I think the answer is that we do not legalize behavior for those reasons unless they are very persuasive reasons brought forward to make a change in the current situation. You will always be my son, and I’ll always be there to help you. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: If you had to describe this enormously complex question in a couple of basic principles, what would that be? What God has joined together let no man put asunder.”. Yet the question is asked and the matter is put forward as if those who believe in marriage between a man and a woman have the burden of proving that it should not be extended to some other set of conditions. In the eternal perspective, same-gender activity will only bring sorrow and grief and the loss of eternal opportunities. There are so many different circumstances, it’s impossible to give one answer that fits all. We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us. Over past years we have seen unrelenting pressure from advocates of that lifestyle to accept as normal what is not normal, and to characterize those who disagree as narrow-minded, bigoted and unreasonable. ELDER OAKS: We are sometimes asked about whether marriage is a remedy for these feelings that we have been talking about. You’ve described a particular kind of challenge that is very vexing. He was sustained in a Solemn Assembly on March 31, 2018. Decisions even for members of the Church as to what they do with respect to this issue must of course rest with each one in their capacity as citizens. So there are lots of kinds of anguish people can have, even associated with just this matter of marriage. What do I tell him as a parent? Al Hartmann | The Salt Lake Tribune LDS Apostles Dallin H. Oaks, center, shakes hand with Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland as he walks to the microphone to make a public statement of religious freedom and nondiscrimination in Salt Lake City Tuesday … This is more than a social issue — ultimately it may be a test of our most basic religious freedoms to teach what we know our Father in Heaven wants us to teach. To me that means that a person with these inclinations, where they’re kept under control, or, if yielded to are appropriately repented of, is eligible to do anything in the Church that can be done by any member of the Church who is single. He’s now told us that he’s moving out of the home. PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Is heterosexual marriage ever an option for those with homosexual feelings? ELDER OAKS: The First Presidency made a wonderful statement on this subject in a letter in 1991. We realize there may be great loneliness in their lives, but there must also be recognition of what is right before the Lord.”. The family asks that in lieu of flowers, contributions be made to either the missionary fund of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, BYU or the American Cancer Society. The Church does not have a position on the causes of any of these susceptibilities or inclinations, including those related to same-gender attraction. byPresident Dallin H. Oaks, "Life's Lessons Learned" | Apr. Now, that’s not to say it’s not appropriate for somebody with that affliction to seek appropriate clinical help to examine whether in his or her case there’s something that can be done about it. Russell Marion Nelson Sr. (born September 9, 1924) is an American religious leader and former surgeon who is the 17th and current president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church). You are now leaving a website maintained by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Why somebody has a same-gender attraction… who can say? He was born on August 12, 1932 at Provo, Utah, United States. Let’s fast-forward the scenario that we used earlier, and assume it’s a couple of years later. ContentsBiographyAge, Birthday […] Funeral services will be conducted at 2 p.m. Saturday, July 25, at the Monument Park North Stake Center, 1320 S. Wasatch Drive. Someone with same-gender attraction wouldn’t necessarily have that same hope. We expect celibacy of any person that is not married. Admittedly, for each one of us, it’s hard to look beyond the ‘now’ sometimes. Friends may call from 7 to 9 p.m. Friday at Larkin Mortuary, 260 E. South Temple, and from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the stake center. Finally, it may drag you down so far that you can’t come back. If a young man says, “Look, I really want these feelings to go away… I would do anything for these feelings to go away,” is it legitimate to look at clinical therapy of some sort that would address those issues? Dallin H. Oaks, Mormon Apostle. That is the Plan of Salvation for His children, and it is our duty to proclaim that plan, to teach its truth, and to praise God for the mission of His Son Jesus Christ. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. She’s a beautiful girl. In 1961, Oaks served as the stake mission president in the LDS Church's Chicago Illinois Stake. ELDER OAKS: This is much bigger than just a question of whether or not society should be more tolerant of the homosexual lifestyle. 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